Decision-Direction

Making decisions can often feeling like making that first mark in that blank sketchbook or journal; we don’t want to mess it up. What we forget is that we’re all part of a gigantic book that already has scribbles all over it.

” ‘O me! O life!… of the questions of these recurring; of the endless trains of the faithless — of cities filled with the foolish; what good amid these, O me, O life?’ Answer. That you are here — that life exists, and identity; that the powerful play goes on and you may contribute a verse.” — Walt Whitman, Writer

In art, as in life, we have to make decisions and often times, we have to do so continually. Sometimes, making a decision can be as hard or complicated as the decision itself. And having too many options can lead to more problems than not, reminding us of the importance of humility and the concept of limitations. And yet we are defined by our choices; any and every decision we make is a step in movement — a progression — towards one set of outcomes or another, both good and bad. In other words, everything you do matters (this is both a frightening and liberating thought). The pressure seems to be “always on,” unless of course, we don’t care.

Alice meets the Cheshire Cat in Lewis Caroll’s Alice in Wonderland

But what if we do care? What then? Well, the outcomes of our choices may not be predictable, but what we can do is ask whether our choice leads us forwards or backwards. When it comes to decision-making, the ball, so to speak, is always on our side of the court.

Here is a list that popped into my mind early one morning. I believe it’s worth deliberating.

This list, which comes directly from my journal, is a record of ideas of what it mean to go backwards or forwards when it comes to making life decisions.

“People pay for what they do, and still more for what they have allowed themselves to become. And they pay for it very simply; by the lives they lead.” ― James Baldwin, Writer

The One Thing

Jack Palance gives Billy Crystal some sage advice in the 1991 hit comedy City Slickers.

“Let go of who you think you’re supposed to be; embrace who you are.” — Brené Brown, Writer

All of us are different; we all have different body types, different interests, different talents, different beliefs, different politics. That’s what diversity is — we’re all meant to be different. At the same time we’re all in this together, connected in ways largely unseen and unforeseen not unlike the wings of a butterfly influencing a typhoon hundreds of miles away. Therefore, how we hold ourselves accountable keeps us focused and in harmony with the universe. There is an order to things and its our choice whether we want to align ourselves with this order or take part in its obstruction or disorder. Sometimes, we need to get ourselves back on track while at other times, it’s best to just get out of the way (i.e. of doing too much and overstepping our limitations.) This is the Taoist concept known as Wu Wei (non-action or not forcing).

“Without desire there is stillness, And the world settles by itself.” — Tao Te Ching

The solution to living seems complicated but need not be. We only need to find that “one thing” — our calling — to set us straight. If we do find it and carry it out with as much effort, integrity and respect as we can, all else will pretty much fall into place. To resist our calling is to contribute to the disorder of things and muck up the universe. This leads to illness and hurt to ourselves and society, and not just by the loss of our unrealized potential.

What does resistance feel like? First, unhappiness. We feel like hell. A low-grade misery pervades everything. We’re bored, we’re restless … we feel unloved and unlovable. We’re disgusted. We hate our lives, we hate ourselves.

Unalleviated, Resistance mounts to a pitch that becomes unendurable. At this point vice kicks in. Dope, adultery, web surfing. Beyond that, Resistance becomes clinical. Depression, aggression, dysfunction. Then actual crime and physical self-destruction.” — Steven Pressfield, The War of Art.

People forget that ultra-famous Pop Artist icon Andy Warhol started out first as a graphic illustrator. When it was time for him to move onward with his art, he did.

That calling, that “one thing” is our craft, our art. And I’m not referring only to the visual arts or even necessarily the creative vocations. It means every kind of craft and career be it science, economics, construction, nursing or farming. The list goes on. All have a role to play. No one craft is superior to another. None. Any significant difference among individuals and action is in the dignity by which the job is done; the respect, love and care that an individual puts into the work. That’s it. It’s that focus on attentiveness and process again. How and why we do things versus what we do. It’s about quality and not quickness, stewardship rather than ownership. It’s a free market system of process above profit while allowing for dutiful and honourable individual expression. History has proven time and again that societal systems that either puts money above people (unregulated capitalism) or suppresses individual freedom (communist totalitarianism) will both negate our humanity. Remember, work is a good thing; we’re designed to do it. But there’s much more value to work than the profits of one’s labour. Happiness lies elsewhere, beyond the accumulation of material wealth and our own self-obsession or even any specific ideology. Instead, it lies in being, creating and connecting.

… among the things that give man pleasure are relations with other human beings — conversation, eating together, singing, dancing, having children, and cooperation in work which “many hands make light.” Indeed, one of the highest pleasures is to be more or less unconscious of one’s own existence, to be absorbed in interesting sights, sounds, places and people. Conversely, one of the greatest pains is to be self-conscious, to feel unabsorbed and cut off from the community and the surrounding world.” — Alan Watts, Philosopher

Here, on this blog the focus is on the visual arts because that’s my primary interest. But the many various aspects of human civilization should be of interest to everyone. Artists should learn about the basic tenets of medicine or business just as doctors and investments managers should enlarge their exposure to the arts. This doesn’t mean that we should become scatterbrained (far from it) but that we should have a healthy interest and respect for other facets of society. Until we become more aware and more empathetic, we’ll continue to misunderstand each other, leaning instead towards division, blame and hatred. Opening our eyes so that we can experience society through our own specified craft strengthens our art which both reflects our humanity and helps to explain it — the “one thing” encompassing all things.

… to love life through labour is to be intimate with life’s inmost secret.” — Kahlil Gibran, Philosopher/Artist

How do we know what that “one thing” is then? That’s for each of us to find out for ourselves. Sometimes — and oftentimes — we must first explore who we’re not before we can find out who we are. This is the journey. And it’s a marvelous one filled with excitement, fear, joy and suffering that’s all pretty much unpredictable. I don’t think we can have it any other way. All things, both good and bad, come attached which means we’ll need to play this game expectation-free and completely vulnerable. But that’s alright, because with vulnerability comes the courage to overcome difficulty and the discovery of real meaning. It’s ok to be scared.

Italian abstract expressionist Emilio Vedova was a self-taught artist who found himself thru his craft. He produced over 1000 paintings in his lifetime.

And, if we already know what we’re supposed to do and ain’t doing it, then we better stop screwing around and get with it.

“Action expresses priorities.” — Mahatma Gandhi, Activist