What does it mean to live a meaningful life?
This is the loaded question many of us try to avoid. Unfortunately, if we don’t think about it we’ll just keep going on repeating the same — like the rat in the wheel — chasing the inessentials until it’s too late to realize (or never realize) the futility of most of our everyday actions. One thing we do know is that having the autonomy to dictate one’s own path is critical to genuine happiness. Another thing we know is that to try live along such a path without guidance is akin to trying to draw a long straight line without a ruler. Rules, like the physical ruler, can provide a dependable hard-edge to keep us steady. The “10 Rules of Creative Living” I posted a few years ago was made in that spirit, not as a set of laws or principles, but rather as a layer of guidelines to refer to when we veer off course. Nonetheless, I was always uncomfortable about making such a long list. Although I still stand by them as strong characteristics of creative living, today I would like to refine them into something much simpler and more apt for our times. I call it AAA — Awareness, Authenticity and Agency — an acronym to serve both as a guide and symbol for quality living.
“Awareness is like the sun. When it shines on things, they are transformed.” — Thich Nhat Hanh
Awareness
To be aware is to stay alive. Whether you’re in the middle of an intersection or in the middle of a fist fight, it’s pretty helpful to realize the predicament that you’re in. It’s not wise to be or to remain oblivious to your environment, either externally or internally. Although it may be obvious that the lack of awareness in a dangerous situation can be life destroying, it’s often not so apparent how lacking internal awareness can also be harmful. We now live in highly distracting surroundings; the combination of record city populations, advanced technologies and busy market economies deny us the opportunity to actually look and see what’s going on. We’re often just caught running — busy doing or busy escaping. Either way, we’re lost and lacking mindfulness of the moment. So awareness really refers to the quality of attention to environments both within and without. It comes back to seeing. We don’t see and hear because we don’t bother to look or listen. It’s near impossible to live authentically or truthfully if we’re not even aware of the fact that we might not be. This is why it’s important to ask serious questions and not just searching for answers to petty concerns. We must not confuse the inessential for the essential; answers are useless if the wrong questions are asked. Clarity is critical. When we listen, we can learn. When we don’t, we can’t. This applies to both our art and to our lives.
“What holds attention determines action.” — William James
We must be wary of a pre-occupied mind because to occupy means to take over, so a pre-occupied mind is one that’s been taken over by a foreign agency, be it our thoughts or the thoughts (ideas) of others. Hence, to be aware means to be on the ready, always watching what is out there and what may enter here, inside our brains. In that sense, awareness implies the necessity to be alert, to have available the energy both to identify our problems and the will to respond to them (which we’ll discuss below). It also means to know our limitations and to catch ourselves off guard like when we fall for the fallacy of efficiency; being aware can trigger us to wake up and reset. And because life is unpredictable, we must be wary that it could be cut short at any moment. We must remind ourselves continually that it’s the process of living that counts, and, like music, getting to the end of it is not the point of the thing. Awareness, and the quality of attention it demands as necessary, enables living presently, timely and timelessly.
“Never allow someone to be your priority while allowing yourself to be their option.” — Mark Twain
Authenticity
Since the beginning of civilization, humankind has struggled to live authentically. Culture, which is both the knowledge and soil from which civilization is formed, acts as the background for our existence. From the time we’re born to the day we die, we’re bombarded by influences from the outside world. In today’s modern society, each one of us, by the time we’ve entered grade school, has already been heavily conditioned as to how to think and behave — the byproduct of an often discombobulated culture created by the mixture of family, schooling, the workplace, corporations, government, the media and technology. Every practicing artist knows exactly the challenges and deterrants to becoming a creative professional because it is anything but a condoned career choice or lifestyle. But even to overcome the many obstacles of resistance doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re living in a way that honors our truth each and everyday. Living authentically (and happily) ultimately means not compromising either our most fundamental principles or the deepest desires of our heart. And for the artist, this means a life devoted to his craft.
But in today’s hectic times, living an examined, meaningful life is more challenging than ever. One solace we can take is to know that living any other way is to guarantee a life of conflict and misery. Psychological and, ultimately, physiological Illness is often the result of a suppressed or repressed life. When we don’t honor our true selves, the body says no. Highly renown scientists and medical professionals — such as Dr. Robert Sapolsky (Why Zerbras don’t get ulcers) and Dr. Gabor Maté (The Myth of Normal) — have materially documentated that reality. Personally, I can also claim that to be true. I also know that almost every mistake I’ve ever made, both major and minor, have come from decisions that sided with the “rationale” of my mechanical mind rather than with my authentic self. Note that we’re not talking about choosing emotions over thought here — for emotions are still part of the mental body that reacts off the thoughts that we have — but rather listening to the gut feeling that lies deep within our being. I think there is great truth to the saying that if you don’t follow your deepest instincts life just won’t work right. I suspect that this is the reason why the logical mind is never capable of predetermining the flow or timing of things, even as we know that in life timing is almost everything. Only a mind-body that’s aligned symbiotically with the greater universe stands a chance of living with flow or perfect timing and only a mind-body that’s living authentically can be aligned with such said universe.
“Freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control.”― Epictetus
Agency
Agency can be viewed as the capacity for taking charge. We can understand the need for awareness and authenticity but if we don’t act or have the capacity to act, none of it will work. Agency is the glue that binds it all together. When we’re little children, we don’t have agency; our lives are guided and controlled by our parents and teachers. It’s not always done right, but this is normal and appropriate given we were dependents. However, once we’ve moved beyond our youth, we owe it to ourselves (and the universe) to take charge and assume stewardship over our mind and body. It’s here that freedom begins.
When we gain clarity — that is, when we know what we need to do — we must then go do it. We may not have control over many outside circumstances, but we always have agency over our attitudes and actions; the words we use, the passion we have, the preparation, hard work and expression is all ours, and we own them completely. They are all within our grasp and responsibility. And because we welcome to the world what we project, we must know that the way we do things is how we’ll experience them. This is a powerful truth, much more powerful than we might realize. Quite simply, our happiness and quality of experience depends entirely on our psychological approach to them. It’s why competitive/political people will always view everyone around them as potential adversaries and why the doubtful skeptic invites distrust. When we were young, the world takes a role in creating us, but as we enter adulthood we create the world around us (i.e. our version of reality). It also explains why things that are out of sight are also out of mind; we can’t acknowledge what we can’t or refuse to see. A limited perspective is bound to be one that carries limited information just as any assumption or hastily formed judgement denies the possibility for empathy or truth. Agency demands awareness and attention just as it demands order and authenticity; it’s an expression of discipline and the will to prioritize. It says to us that must we end complacency and get a move on towards actual creative living.
“Those who do not move do not notice their chains”. — Rosa Luxumberg