Henri Matisse’s The Parakeet and the Mermaid. Throughout history art has displayed the ability to transmute its audience, breaking all divisions between human beings. Matisse’s magnificent cutouts are a perfect example of the capacity to unify and connect.
“Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other’s eye for an instant?” — Henry David Thoreau, Philosopher
I live only for two things: creation and connection. The process of creation brings joy and connecting with the world around us brings meaning. Together they bring fulfillment. To do either requires an understanding of both ourselves and things outside of ourselves. The one enriches the other.
We know by now that the creative act binds us to what’s in front of us — we engage directly with whatever we are to analyze, reinterpret or create. So despite the casual appearance of making art being a solo adventure, it actually isn’t. If we’re drawing a person, we’re connecting with that person. And that very connection, for it to be valid, must have understanding. We cannot create authentically without understanding our subject.
“One cannot be deeply responsive to the world without being saddened very often.” ―
In the Pixar film Inside Out it’s shown that sadness is as important as joy. Directed by Artie Mandelberg, Pete Docter & Ronnie del Carmen.
Knowledge (i.e. information) is important, and it’s the first part of understanding, but it’s not the most important thing. For deeper understanding, opening our minds up in ways unexpected (and often challenging) is necessary. This requires empathy.
Definition of Empathy:
1: the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner also: the capacity for this
2: the imaginative projection of a subjective state into an object so that the object appears to be infused with it
Fundamentally, having empathy means the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. It’s about being kind and not just “nice” which is often surface level. It’s looking deeper and giving more deeply. Having an open mind means having an open heart.
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” — Plato, Philosopher
George Miller’s magical creation, Babe, is a wonderful story of a small and seemingly insignificant character whose heart is not only big and brave, but kind and gentle. Its central character, despite being “just a pig,” is arguably one of the most noble characters to have ever graced the screen.
Empathy encompasses the application of almost all the other principles for creative living; honoring (i.e. respecting) others, acknowledging that our own understanding is limited, being prepared for difficulty and failure, having the discipline to do the right thing, detaching from our expectations and experiences so that we don’t judge so hastily, being attentive in the presence of others, and ultimately taking that giant leap of faith of trusting in ourselves and in people.
“I believe empathy is the most essential quality of civilization.” Roger Ebert, Film Critic
“At the Movies with Siskel and Ebert.” I’ve never cared much for critics. But Roger Ebert (right side) was always the exception. He understood film art. His knowledge and love of the craft along with his empathy for artists gave him a step up on everyone else when it comes to talking about movies.
I firmly believe that we would eliminate much of the angst, suffering and violence we impose on ourselves and others if we lived with greater empathy day in and day out. And I don’t believe we can be truly dedicated artists and good human beings if we don’t practice this principle. It’s all too easy to be lazy, judgemental and negative. Succumbing to ignorance and aggression reveals the worst of ourselves by confirming and strengthening our insecurities and selfishness. We become closed off and ignorant. Art is the opposite of that. It bridges geographical, racial, intellectual, and cultural barriers.
“Good looks fade. But a good heart keeps you beautiful forever.” — Meryl Streep, Actress
Meryl Streep (who carries a record 3 Academy Awards and 21 nominations) is arguably the greatest living actor/actress in the world. Her art, in my opinion, gives such an honest idea and feeling of what it’s like to be a woman that even a man (i.e. the opposite sex) can relate and understand.
This rule of empathy marks the final and most important of the 10 Rules for Creative Living. It’s also perhaps the most challenging to remember and act on regularly. Our innate need for survival — in a world obsessed with wealth and status, and troubled by fear and the lack of time — makes being generous and being genuinely thoughtful of others a very difficult thing to do. But it’s of utmost importance that we exercise it. Empathy enables our capacity — and the opportunity to display our courage — to be truly humane.
In summary, let us recap the 10 Rules:
- Honor: Find your truth and live it.
- Limitations: Devote yourself to only a few things.
- Preparation: Know where you’re going and have a plan.
- Discipline: Commit to excellence and consistency.
- Humility: Think big picture, small ego.
- Detachment: Act without desire, expectation or assumption.
- Stewardship: Take care of your mind, body and spirit.
- Faith: Believe in your gift and trust in the universe.
- Presence: Breathe deeply and live attentively.
- Empathy: Connect with kindness and understanding.
To live up to the rules here is a daunting task for even the best of us. Each one requires real awareness and effort. But in my experience, striving to live according to these principles is what defines a life worth living. It’s true “pursuit of happiness” — the act of living rather than the attainment of any one thing or ideal, which often ends up being superfluous. Ultimately, it’s a way of living that unites us with each other.*
“We heal up thru being loved, and through loving others. We don’t heal by forming a secret society of one.” — Jeanette Winterson, Writer
*Afterthought: It was a risk to write about these rules for the possibility of being misunderstood or mistaken for pretension or a sense of superiority. I shared these rules with you not to dictate or even educate, but to inspire you to find your own guidelines by which to live by. We all need structure; it’s too hard to live without some sort of path to follow. And it’d be a mistake to live by another’s.